The Uniqueness of Love
Use these materials to go deeper into this message on your own, or with your small group.
Series Overview
Sermon Questions
Good morning Chapel family. It is great to be back with you today. Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. I would not be half the person I am today without the influence of my mom, so thank you, mom, for all you’ve given to me. And happy Mother’s Day to the mother of my children, who continues to be a great mom to our four adult kids. And to all the other moms: thanks for everything you do—especially the things that nobody notices. God notices, and it’s all worth it. So we celebrate you today.
There was a group of children who were asked “What does love mean?” Let me read you a few of their answers…
A little girl said, “When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time—even when his hands got arthritis, too. That’s love.” I don’t think I can beat that definition.
A little boy said, “When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that you name is safe in their mouth.”
A girl said, “If you want to learn to love better, you should start with someone you hate.” Dang.
A boy said, “Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.”
And a little girl said, “You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.”
Are those not awesome answers? Even little kids know love when they see it. And I think we do, too. And we know when it’s not there. But I think we hardly ever slow down enough to ask what it really is, and why it’s often hard for us to give it, and even harder to receive it. So that’s what we’re going to do over these next three weeks: we’re going to slow down and talk about love, by looking at one of the most famous chapters in the Bible.
1 Corinthians 13, starting in verse 1. Let’s hear the Word of God…
1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked
like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. This is the Word of the Lord.
Let me ask you a question: where is the last place you heard this Scripture? For a lot of us, it was at a wedding, right? This is a super popular Scripture reading at weddings! Which is fine. But when Paul wrote these words to the church in Corinth, he wasn’t thinking about marriage. So my goal in this series is to rip all the romance out of this passage. Maybe not all of it, but it’s just so much more than that!
When you start reading book of 1 Corinthians, you realize quickly that the people in this church had issues. They weren’t getting along; they argued about theology; they argued about spiritual gifts; there was lots of discrimination and superiority. And Paul was trying to show these very self-centered people that there’s a better way to live. Anybody think we need to hear that today?
Now: the middle of that chapter—verses 4, 5, 6 and 7—is the definition of love: love is patient, love is kind, etc. We’re going to come back to that the next two weeks, and dissect that definition. So today we’re going to focus on what comes before and after that definition. Okay? So we’re going to look at verses 1 through 3, skip the definition, and talk about verses 8 through 13. And I’m going to put today’s message under three headings.
First, Love is Essential. Which means you gotta have it. There are lots of things you can do without in life; you can’t do without love. It is essential.
Now: before we say any more, let me clarify something. When we use the word “love” in English, it can mean almost anything. I love Rutt’s Hutt hot dogs. I love God. Both of those statements are true. And yet, am I really saying I feel the same way about Rutt’s Hutt hot dogs as I feel about God? Of course not! The problem is: the English language uses the word “love” to mean lots of different things. The New Testament was written in Greek, and first-century Greek had much more specific ways to talk about love. In fact, they had at least eight different words for love; four of them were most common:
The word storge means “affection.” The natural affection you feel for some people, or even the affection you feel for your favorite sweatshirt or you favorite Jersey hot dog joint. Storge is not the word used in 1 Corinthians 13.
The word philia means “friendship.” Like really close, deep friendship. Philadelphia is the city of brotherly love. You would never know that by their sports fans, but they are. So philia is really important. But that’s not the word used in 1 Corinthians 13.
The word eros means romantic or sexual love. It’s a gift from God and an important part of marriage, but it’s not the word used in 1 Corinthians 13.
The word agape means selfless or unconditional love. It’s the love that God shows to undeserving people, who then become able to extend that kind of love to other people. Even if you don’t have affection for them; even if you don’t have a personal friendship with them; even if you have no romantic interest in them; you can still show them agape because it’s deeper than those other things. And when you read 1 Corinthians 13, every time you see the word “love,” it’s using the word—
everybody? Agape. This all about agape love. That’s the kind of love that’s essential; you gotta have it; you cannot live without it.
Okay—so look with me again at verses 1 through 3: 1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
So Paul mentions five things—some of them are spiritual gifts like the gift of tongues, which is the supernatural ability to speak in different languages; the gift of prophecy, which is the ability to declare a message on behalf of God, and the gift of faith—a super-strong belief in the power of God. Are those spiritual gifts good things? Of course! God-given gifts.
And then, he mentions some great spiritual accomplishments: giving all my money to the poor; sacrificing my body to hardship for Christ. Those are impressive, right? So Paul is not talking about your typical Christian; he’s talking about people with amazing gifts; incredible levels of commitment. These are people who inspire us and stretch us. And Paul says, “Here’s the thing. You can have that level of spiritual awesomeness…but if you do it without love, it amounts to exactly…what? Zero.”
So here’s my question (and this is scary!): Once a month, a group of us go into Paterson and spend time with homeless people—giving out food and clothing, praying with them. So that’s a good thing to do—right? But here’s the scary question: Is it possible that when I do that, I’m not being driven by love? Love for God; love for those people? And if I’m not driven by love, what is driving me?
Jesus actually talked about this. He said when the Pharisees—the spiritual authorities in the first century—when they did good deeds—everything they did was done for men to see (that’s Matthew 23:5). In other words, deep inside, their motive was to impress people and to manage their image in the eyes of people. So is it possible that when serve in Paterson I’m being driven—even partially—by that?
Or maybe I do it because I think I’m going to get something from God in return. Or maybe because I feel guilty for some bad thing that I did, and I’m trying to make up for it. Or maybe I do it because I like the feeling of moral superiority. So when I came back here, I’ll feel superior to you lazy slobs who sleep in on Saturdays. Aha! I mean, I hope that’s not my motive! But could it be?
See, you can do great spiritual things, but if you don’t do them with this one thing—with love, it’s worth nothing. Love is what makes it good and beautiful.
In verse 1, Paul uses this great analogy—he says if I don’t have love, I’m like a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. Have you ever heard a person passionately talking about their beliefs, but you could tell they don’t really care about the people they’re talking to? They didn’t really love the people they’re trying to convince. They’re driven by anger or pride or being right or winning the argument.
So there are words coming out—they’re making sentences. But here’s what people hear: (Bang on cymbal). Blah, blah, blah. Right? You remove the love…and it’s just noise.
See, I think we know love when we see it in other people, and we know it when it’s not there in other people…but sometimes we’re blind to the lack of it in ourselves. So is it possible that when I talk about God and about my beliefs, or when I serve people, that deep down I don’t really love those people—I don’t really long for their good and their joy—and at some level, they can tell—so what they really hear is (clang, clang, clang)?
Love is the one essential ingredient that makes anything you do worthwhile. I don’t care how great the thing is! You pull out love, and you’re doing more harm than good.
Love is essential!
Secondly, Love is Eternal. Look again at verse 8: 8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. So all of those supernatural gifts—speaking in tongues; prophecy; special knowledge received from God—all of those were given for a temporary period of time. Some people believe God only gave those gifts in the first century when the church was being established; some people think those gifts are still given today. But either way, there is a point in time when those gifts will no longer be needed.
I believe that point in time is when Jesus returns and eternity begins. Look at verses 9 and 10: 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. That word “completeness” can also be translated as “perfection.” So when does completeness or perfection happen? Only in heaven. Only when Jesus is present. So when we’re in heaven, we won’t need gifts like prophecy. We can just ask Jesus! So spiritual gifts are temporary. But love is eternal.
Not only that; look at verse 13: 13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. Did you see that? Not only is love more important than any spiritual gift; love is even more important than faith and hope! Faith and hope are heavy hitters! How could you ever criticize faith and hope?? But love rises above even those. Why would that be? Well, think about it: why do you need faith, and why do you need hope? Because there’s something you don’t have yet—you can’t see it yet—and you have faith in God for it—you’re hoping in Him. But when we’ve entered into God’s presence, faith will become sight. And hope will become fulfillment. So faith and hope are beautiful things in this life…but they won’t last into eternity. We won’t need them.
Only one virtue will last from this life into eternity. What is it? Love. There’s so much we don’t know about heaven; here’s one thing we do know: as we spend eternity worshiping and serving God, in community with other people, love will be everywhere. It’s almost too overwhelming to think about, but let’s try for a minute. In eternity, we will continue receiving the agape love of God—without the distraction of Satan’s lies; without the noise of entertainment and social media and mental illness and everything else that distracts us and confuses us. We will take the love of God and return it to him in worship. And we’ll take the love of God and pour it out to the people around us: no more rivalry or suspicion or anger; no more political division; just pure love, received and given. Is anybody looking forward to that? Oh man. I have faith and hope that day is coming. But one day my faith and hope will be fulfilled—I won’t need them anymore! But love will remain.
So love is essential—it’s the thing you have to have to make anything you do mean anything. And it’s eternal—it will never, ever, end. Love is really that unique!
So the obvious question is: how do we connect our lives with the agape love of God?
Final point: Love is a Person. I think most people think they’re doing pretty well at loving—not perfect, but pretty good. Let me introduce you to a guy who thought he was doing pretty well—look at Mark chapter 10, beginning in verse 17: 17 As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” Verse 19: 19 You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, do not defraud, honor your father and mother.’” This is all Ten
Commandments kind of stuff, right? And did you see what all those laws have in common? They’re all about loving your neighbor. Don’t murder people; don’t cheat on people; don’t take people’s stuff. These are all ways to love people. In fact, in another place, Jesus summarized all these laws like this: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
And look what the guy says to that: 20 “Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.” “I give myself a solid ‘A’ on the love thing. So…I guess I’m good?”
Is that what you would say? Would you stand in front of Jesus and say, “I’ve been pretty much loving people all my life!”? Maybe you’d be a little more humble, but I think most of the time, we think we do a pretty good job of loving other people. We know lots of others who struggle with it, but we think we do pretty well. Just like this guy.
So Jesus gives him a simple test. Verse 21: 21 Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” This is the generosity test for love. This is to see if you really love your neighbor—especially the poor ones—like you just said you did. Verse 22: 22 At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. His heart was exposed. He thought he was doing fine in loving people. But it turned out that he loved money more than he loved other people and more than he loved Jesus.
Do you know why I told this story? Because I believe every one of us is like this guy. We don’t love nearly as well as we think we do. And whether it’s money that gets in the way or something else, all of us would fail the test. In fact, if you don’t believe that, go to the definition of love in 1 Corinthians 13, and every time you see the word “love,” put in your name. And honestly tell me how it sounds: Dave is patient, Dave is kind. Dave does not envy, Dave does not boast, Dave is not proud. (My wife is out there cracking up right now). Dave is not rude, Dave is not self-seeking… Okay, I’m done. It’s ridiculous! It’s embarrassing! Right? We mess it up in a million ways!
And that would be so depressing, if it weren’t for one thing. It’s my favorite line in the whole passage in Mark 10. It’s at the beginning of verse 21. Did you see it? Right after the guy smugly claimed that he was worthy, look what it says: Jesus looked at him and… what does it say? …loved him. Whenever we fall short of loving the way we should, Jesus looks at us and he loves us. He doesn’t laugh at us; he doesn’t condemn us; he loves us. And he doesn’t just have loving thoughts; he acts in love toward us…and the ultimate act is what he did for us on the cross. 1 John 4:10 says This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
See that’s the source! That’s the prerequisite for us being a loving person! In fact, a few verses later, in 1 John 4:19, it says We love because he first loved us.
This past winter we studied the whole book of 1 John, and we drew a principle from that verse. Do you remember it? I’ll start it; see if you can finish it: Loved people…can you finish it? …love people. Loved people love people. The more we allow ourselves to receive and breathe in and experience God’s love for us, we will have an unending supply of love for other people. Loved people love people.
Over the next two weeks, we’re going to see more what real love looks like. It’s not soft or passive. It’s strong and risk-taking and sacrificial and courageous and dangerous. And you need it. When you gather with your family for Mother’s Day, if you’re doing that today, you need love; when you deal with that problem kid in your family, you need love; when you’re talking with your spouse about the financial mess you’re in, you need love; when that awful bad news happens at the office this week,
you need to respond with love. You need love for everything you’re about to do. And if you do bring love into those situations, things will turn out so much differently.
But you can’t bring that kind of love unless you first receive of that kind of love.
So I’m going to ask you to do one thing this week. Very simple. You ready? Receive God’s love more personally than you ever have before. That’s it. Receive God’s love more personally than you ever have before. Let me give you a few practical ways to do that…
Read the Bible. Read passages about God’s love like 1 John 3:1: See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! Start your day meditating on things like that, instead of your social media feed.
Receive it through worship. Sing worship songs that declare the truth of God’s love. Amazing love, how can it be, that you my God would die for me? I am chosen not forsaken; I am who You say I am; You are for me not against me; I am who You say I am. Fill your house and your car and your Air Pods with the sounds of that truth.
And receive it through others. Allow other people who know God’s love to confirm what’s true. Every time I meet with my small group, and we gather around Scripture, we remind each other how real the love of God is. When I talk with my wife or my Christian brothers, and we confess our sins to each other, we remind each other that God’s love overcomes our sins. That’s what’s true. I’ve told you this before: there’s something in me that wants to believe I’m only worthy of love if I preach a really good sermon today. I’m only as good as my latest performance. Thank God that’s a lie. Even when I stink up here, God loves me with his overwhelming agape love. And I need to be reminded of that over and over again.
Brennan Manning was an author who struggled with alcoholism for years. And it was so easy for him to think he wasn’t worthy of God’s love. But over the years he discovered the power of agape. And the way he experienced God’s love and talked about God’s love was so raw and so real, he became a speaker at conferences and retreats all over the country, because everybody could relate. And he once said this:
To me, it's more important to be loved than to love. When I have not had the experience of being loved by God, just as I am and not as I should be, then loving others becomes a duty, a responsibility, a chore. But if I let myself be loved as I am, with the love of God poured into my heart by the Holy Spirit, then I can reach out to others in a more effortless way.
That is so true! So this week, through reading Scripture, through worship, through community with brothers and sisters in Christ, receive God’s love more personally than you ever have before. Go out on one of these beautiful May mornings, and take a walk, with no agenda, except to just be with God. Receive his love.
Because loved people love people.
Would you rise? I want to pray that God flood us with his love this week.
