The Gift of Presence

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Once upon a time there was an old well that stood outside of a family farmhouse in New Hampshire. Everybody loved drinking from that well, because the water was always cold, and always fresh. Even on the hottest summer days, and even during droughts, that well never dried up, and people used it every day. So it stood there for years, until eventually the farmhouse was modernized. They brought in electricity, and they brought in indoor plumbing, so you could now get your water right out of the faucet. The old well was no longer needed, so they sealed the top shut.

Years went by. One of the kids who had grown up in the house was now the owner of the house. And one day his kids asked him about the well, and he told them how amazing the water was. And his kids said, “Dad—let’s try some.” And the dad was in a nostalgic mood, so he pried off the cover, and he lowered the bucket. Memories came rushing back. But then he heard a clunk. He couldn’t believe it—because this well had survived the most severe droughts—but it was bone dry now. He couldn’t understand it, so he started asking some of the older folks who knew about these things. And here’s what he learned: wells in that area were fed by hundreds of tiny, underground trickles of water, called rivulets, that would steadily seep water into the well. And as long as water was regularly drawn out of the well, those little rivulets would remain open and new water would keep flowing in. But when the water in the well just sits, the rivulets clog up with mud and the flow just stops. And the man realized that the well dried up not because it was used too much, but because it wasn’t used enough.

I adapted that story from a book by John Sanford called The Kingdom Within. And I think it’s a great picture of our souls. All of us know what it’s like to feel empty, don’t we? Depleted; dry; spiritually and emotionally flat. When it gets really bad we call it burnout. I’m sure some of you feel like that right now.

Jesus talked about living water that would well up in our souls. That sounds amazing, doesn’t it? But here’s the thing: if we don’t regularly draw on that water, our souls will dry up. And this series is all about learning to live our lives so that we are constantly drawing on the living water of Christ. Because if you can learn to do that, the well will keep on giving, and your soul will feel the opposite of dry—it will feel satisfied and full and healthy. And, not only that, you will respond to the needs around you with generosity of your time and everything you have. Because God has poured so much into you, and you want to pour yourself out for others. That’s what we’re going to talk about this month.

I want to say one more thing, before we dive in. This whole series is built around something Jesus said in Matthew 10:8. He said to his disciples, “Freely you have received; freely give.” That concept has become tremendously important to me and to Norma Jean. In fact, it has become our life verse. We feel like God wants that concept to guide everything we do—especially in this season of our lives. And I told the staff last week: I feel very vulnerable presenting this to you guys. Because it means so much to me, and honestly I’m not sure it’s going to mean that much to anyone else. You might hear this and go, “Oh—that’s nice.” And that would be a bummer. So there’s a risk to this, but I feel like God is calling me to share this part of myself with you, and I want to be faithful to what God is asking me to do.

So I’m going to begin today by unpacking that statement that Jesus made: Freely you have received; freely give. And then, over the next three weeks, I’m going to apply that principle to three different

areas of life: how do we freely receive from God and freely give to others the gift of presence (that’s today), and then the following two weeks, how do we receive and give the gift of pardon, and the gift of possessions?

So today is all about The Gift of Presence, and let’s break the message into two parts: The Principle of Living Freely, and The Practice of Living Freely. The principle of living freely, and the practice of living freely.

So, first: The Principle of Living Freely. Let’s look at the context in which Jesus made that statement—Matthew 10, starting in verse 5: 5 These twelve Jesus sent out with the following instructions: “Do not go among the Gentiles or enter any town of the Samaritans. 6 Go rather to the lost sheep of Israel. 7 As you go, proclaim this message: ‘The kingdom of heaven has come near.’ 8 Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give. This was very early in the ministry of Jesus. He had selected his twelve disciples. He had spent time teaching them. And now he was sending them out to continue his work. Now: there are certain parts of this commission that applied to them, that don’t necessarily apply to us. For example, he tells them to go only to Jewish people, not Gentiles, because that’s how Jesus started his ministry. When you read the rest of the story, you find out he later opened it up to include people from every tribe, tongue and nation. Thank God. So that part of his instructions no longer applies. There are other parts of this that may not apply to us, depending on your theological view. Christians debate about whether we should expect to heal sick people and drive out demons, or whether that was a temporary gift given to the apostles at the beginning. And that’s a good debate, but we’re not going to have it now, because it’s not the point of this series.

Here's the point: Jesus was calling them to go out—to people they didn’t even know—and give significant things. But everything he was calling them to give, he had given them first. He said, “Proclaim the message that the kingdom of heaven is near, and you can be part of this kingdom.” But remember, Jesus had already give the disciples a place in his kingdom. He said, “Go and heal the sick and drive out demons, etc.” but the only way the could do that is because Jesus gave them that authority. So he was asking them to give what they had already received.

And in that last part of verse 8, there’s a really important word. I know it’s important because it shows up twice. What’s the word? Freely. Freely you have received; freely give. It’s the Greek word dorean. It’s where we get the names Dorian. Doris. Dorothy. It comes from a Greek word that means “gift.” And everyone knows a gift is something you give and receive…how? Freely. You don’t pay for it, and when you give a gift, you don’t expect the other person to pay for it. It’s all done freely.

So Jesus is saying, “All these things I’ve given you: the message of the kingdom and membership in my kingdom and authority over sickness and evil spirits—I’ve given them to you freely. So when you go out and give them to others, give them away freely.” Now: later on, Jesus says it’s fine to make your living from preaching the gospel—if that’s your full-time calling, then the worker is worthy of his wages. But never demand payment, and never exploit people for their money, and never use the gospel as a tool to get rich. You got it for free, so give it away for free.

This past summer, somebody gave me an amazing gift. He came up to me and said, “I have four season tickets for the Giants; I want you to pick any home game, and I’ll give you the tickets.” Now, you might not think that sounds very good now, but back in the summer, we were all very hopeful about the Giants. So I chose the game that happened two weeks ago, against Washington, and I went with three friends. And I realized, these were not just four tickets; they were in the Coaches Club

section. 50-yard line, unlimited free food, and I’m talking gourmet food—seriously. Not only that, wonder of wonders, the Giants won, and they let us walk on the field afterwards. It was a great day!

So imagine if my friend, who gave me the tickets, called me later that night, and he said, “How’d you like the game.” Imagine if I said, “Oh—those tickets? I sold those.” He said, “You sold them?” And I said, “Yeah—and those were sweet seats! I got a thousand dollars a ticket!” And he said, “Why’d you sell them?” And I said, “Well, you gave the to me, so I figured I could do whatever I wanted with them. And times are tight! So I just stayed home and watched the game on TV, and I made 4,000 bucks. So I want to thank you for the tickets.” How would he have responded? Rightfully upset. Rightfully offended. Because the whole reason he gave me the tickets was—yes, so I could enjoy the game—but also so I could give them away for the enjoyment of three other people (except for my one friend who’s a lifelong Washington Redskins fan—he didn’t enjoy it very much). But the point is: I had freely received from him, and he expected me to freely give.

And that’s the principle Jesus was teaching his disciples: Everything you have was given to you freely, so I want you to go out and give it away freely. And guys, don’t miss this: he says the same thing to us.

If we don’t internalize that principle, we will find ourselves like that dry well. We will feel depleted and empty, and we will go through life with what I call a “scarcity mentality.” A scarcity mentality is when you feel like you never have enough time, never have enough energy, never have enough money—everything seems scarce. When you’re living with a scarcity mentality, you cling tightly to what you have. And when someone asks you for your time, or to contribute some of your money to a cause, or to do anything—you feel resentful and angry, because you have nothing left to give. Does that sound familiar to anyone? It does to me. I know that feeling.

And I’m learning to listen to Jesus and live with a very different mindset. I call it an “abundance mentality.” In John 10:10, Jesus said, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” Some translations say, “I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” Jesus wants us to live with an abundance mentality. I’m not talking about prosperity theology; God doesn’t promise to make us financially rich. An abundance mentality means you have a relationship with the living Jesus Christ, where you are constantly receiving from him, and therefore you have an abundance of everything you need to give out to others.

That’s what Jesus was offering his disciples, and that’s what he offers us. That’s the principle that can change everything: freely you’ve received; freely give.

So how do we live this out? Let’s talk about The Practice of Living Freely. As I said earlier, three areas where God calls us to put this into practice is the gift of presence, the gift of pardon, and the gift of possessions. And today we’re going to talk about the gift of presence. So here’s what that looks like:

First, Freely receive God’s presence. When Jesus walked this earth, he was remarkably present with people. He showed up at weddings and funerals and parties. He sat down and ate with traitorous tax collectors and notorious sinners. But he was especially present with his disciples. I love this verse in Mark chapter 3: He appointed twelve that they might…what does it say? be with him and that he might send them out to preach. So before he ever gave them a job to do, Jesus just wanted to be with them. Isn’t that amazing? If you were one of Jesus’ disciples, you had access to him almost all the time. There were moments when he snuck away and prayed, but almost all the time you could be with him and talk with him and ask him questions and pray with him. It must have been an incredible experience.

And that’s why the disciples were so disturbed when Jesus said he was going to leave them.

In John 14 through 16, there a long section of teaching, where Jesus is preparing his disciples for his departure. Look what he says in John 14, starting in verse 16: 16 And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever—17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. 18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Remember: by this time, these guys had physically hung out with Jesus for three years. The thought of losing him was crushing. But Jesus says, “Look—I’m not going to leave you alone. I’m going to ask the Father for another advocate—just like I was your advocate, you’re going to get another advocate just like me—to be with you forever: the Holy Spirit. And look at that last phrase in verse 18: “I will come to you.” In other words, “having the Holy Spirit in you will be just like having me with you.”

Back in the 1600’s there was a Carmelite monk named Brother Lawrence, who served as a cook in a monastery. And he knew that God’s presence was in him, but it was hard to experience that reality. So he learned to train himself to live in the conscious awareness of God. And after his death, they compiled his teachings into a little book called The Practice of the Presence of God. Right after I learned that concept I found myself stuck in traffic. And what made it really rough is that the radio in my car was broken. So I’m sitting there, stopped in traffic, in silence, getting uptight. And then this thought came to me: How can I practice God’s presence in this traffic jam? So I started talking to God—just very conversationally, out loud. I thanked him for certain things in my life; I asked him for help with some hard things I had to do that day. And I mean, I’m really getting into the conversation—and this was before cell phones—so there were people in the other lanes looking at me, like Who is this freak? That was about twenty years ago. My radio works fine now, but honestly a lot of times I don’t turn it on, because those conversations have become really important to me. (And it’s less embarrassing, because everybody just assumes I’m talking on my cell phone).

Guys, we are not alone. And I don’t just mean because God is everywhere. Much more personally—because the Holy Spirit is in us. What would it look like this week for you to practice his presence?

When I meet with my men’s group on Tuesday mornings, there’s a group of guys around a big table, and we always start the group by getting on our knees, and welcoming God’s presence into our group. There’s something special about gathering in a group, because Jesus said, “Wherever two or three gather in my name, there I am with them.” So we welcome his presence in our midst, and as we open up the Word, we try to remain conscious that this isn’t just a group of guys trying to figure out what the Bible is saying; Jesus is in the room with us. Maybe you want to try something like that in your group.

When we gather for worship on Sundays, I so appreciate how Lauren often reminds us that God is here. Psalm 22:3 says that God inhabits the praises of his people. So when we gather to worship, God is present in a special way. And the more I realize that—the more I receive his presence—the worship is so much more meaningful.

I feel like I say this a lot, but one of the main enemies of receiving God’s presence is distractions. If I try to sit in a chair at home, and spend time in prayer and meditation on the Word, it’s hard. Because my phone is right there. And the TV is over here. And the dishwasher that needs to be emptied is right next door. And I look up and see that spot on the ceiling I was supposed to paint. But when I get out and walk—especially in the woods—it’s just me and God. And those times are so rich.

Sometimes, when Norma Jean and I haven’t spent much time together, she’ll say to me, “My bucket’s getting empty.” It’s her way of saying, “I feel distant from you.” And I’ve learned that things don’t go well when her bucket is empty. So eventually I get the clue and take her out to dinner, or take her

away for a night. And very often, driving back home, she’ll say, “My bucket is full.” Our relational health is really important to her, and I love that about her.

So here’s the invitation: apply that to the most important relationship in your life. Allow God to fill your bucket. Find ways to open yourself to the presence of God—through worship; through prayer; through time in the Word; through time in nature; on your own or with others. Receive his presence. You don’t deserve it, but he wants to give you himself, freely. He wants to fill your spiritual bucket from the well of living water.

As you experience that—as you make that a part of the rhythm of your life—you will be able to do this last thing: Freely give your presence. There’s a place in the New Testament where Paul is reflecting on the time he spent with a group of people. Sometime earlier, he and Timothy and Silas had shown up in the city of Thessalonica and planted a church. They spent some time there with the new Christians, getting to know them and grounding them in their faith. Some time went by, and Paul wrote them a letter, which we call 1 Thessalonians. Look what he wrote in 1 Thessalonians 2, starting midway through verse 7: 7bJust as a nursing mother cares for her children, 8 so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well. In other words, we weren’t just there to transmit information about God from our minds to your minds. As important as that information is! The facts of the gospel are vitally important for people to know. But Paul realized that if you communicate the truth of the gospel, but you do it in a cold or distant way, you are contradicting the very message you claim to preach. See the gospel says that God came to us and was present with us, so if I want to faithfully share that message with you, I need to come to you and be present with you.

We loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well. You know whose life verse that was? Pastor Matt DeLorenzo. Matt was the youth pastor at the Chapel years ago, and he was one of a kind. Before he became a pastor he was a hairdresser; he was about 5 foot 7, but with his afro he was about 5’11”. He nicknamed himself “Wimpy,” because he was completely un-athletic. But he was one of the most effective pastors I’ve ever had the privilege of working with. I remember times when a kid would get dropped off by his parents for youth group, but the kid was in a bad emotional place and didn’t want to be there, so he would sneak off into the woods to smoke. And if Pastor Matt found out, he would go back in the woods with another leader and find the kid, and sit down in the dirt with him, and listen, and encourage. And a half hour later the kid would be in tears, hugging Matt and thanking him for changing his life. That kind of thing happened all the time.

And those of you who knew Matt know that he was quirky. He would tell you he couldn’t read very well, because he was dyslexic. He had a middle-school sense of humor, that was sometimes offensive to more dignified people. But he loved the students. And he would often quote that verse: we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well. And he lived that out. He shared his life with those kids.

And then in 2008, they found a tumor in his abdomen. And a few months later he was dead. This room seats about 700 people. At Matt’s funeral there were 1,200 people in this room. There was a microphone at the front of this aisle, and there was a line stretching all the way down the church, and it was almost all kids and young adults, waiting their turn to talk. And one after the other, they stepped up to the mic, and said, “My name is John, or Bryan, or Steve. And I’m one of Matt’s kids. And they went on to share how he had changed the direction of their lives.” Not because he was so

theologically deep, and certainly not because he was cool—he wasn’t. But he freely gave his presence, just like God had done for him.

Parents: freely give your presence to your kids.

Husbands: freely give your presence to your wives.

Adult kids: freely give your presence to your parents.

All of us: let’s freely give our presence to our neighbors.

Who is God calling you to freely give your presence to?

And remember: when you’re holding your cell phone and distracted by your cell phone, you’re not really giving your presence to anyone.

Let me close with one more story. Larry Crabb is a professor and author and Christian counselor. He’s a brilliant guy, but definitely wired differently than Pastor Matt was: less social and more intellectual. I heard him tell a story once about something that happened at the college where he taught. It was the end of the spring semester, and he was in his office, getting ready to leave for the summer. One of his students knocked on his door and said, “I just had to stop by and tell you how much you influenced me this semester.” He was grateful for the compliment, and he said, “What was it that influenced you the most? Was it the principles of counseling class? Was it the human behavior class?” And she said, “No. I don’t know if you remember this. But earlier in the semester, I was sitting on the campus lawn with some friends. And you came walking past, and you stopped and sat down and chatted with us.” And she said, “That meant so much to me, and I’ll never forget it.” And when she left his office, he just shook his head. And he said, “I put so much effort into studying, and crafting lesson plans, and teaching. How easily I forget that my most powerful influence is just giving people my time and attention. Showing them I value them and I just want to be in their presence.”

I need to be reminded of that all the time.

Can you believe the God of the universe wants to give us his presence? And he has! He came to us in Christ, and he stays with us through the Holy Spirit. So freely receive his presence. Keep allowing God to fill you up.

And then, turn around a freely give your presence to the people God has called you to love. Sometimes they’ll appreciate it, and sometimes they may not…but there is no better way to live.