Sin

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1 In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David sent Joab out with the king’s men and the whole Israelite army. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained in Jerusalem.

2 One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of the palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful, 3 and David sent someone to find out about her. The man said, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” 4 Then David sent messengers to get her. She came to him, and he slept with her. (Now she was purifying herself from her monthly uncleanness.) Then she went back home. 5 The woman conceived and sent word to David, saying, “I am pregnant.”

6 So David sent this word to Joab: “Send me Uriah the Hittite.” And Joab sent him to David. 7 When Uriah came to him, David asked him how Joab was, how the soldiers were and how the war was going. 8 Then David said to Uriah, “Go down to your house and wash your feet.” So Uriah left the palace, and a gift from the king was sent after him. 9 But Uriah slept at the entrance to the palace with all his master’s servants and did not go down to his house.

10 David was told, “Uriah did not go home.” So he asked Uriah, “Haven’t you just come from a military campaign? Why didn’t you go home?”

11 Uriah said to David, “The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in tents, and my commander Joab and my lord’s men are camped in the open country. How could I go to my house to eat and drink and make love to my wife? As surely as you live, I will not do such a thing!”

12 Then David said to him, “Stay here one more day, and tomorrow I will send you back.” So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next. 13 At David’s invitation, he ate and drank with him, and David made him drunk. But in the evening Uriah went out to sleep on his mat among his master’s servants; he did not go home.

14 In the morning David wrote a letter to Joab and sent it with Uriah. 15 In it he wrote, “Put Uriah out in front where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die.”

16 So while Joab had the city under siege, he put Uriah at a place where he knew the strongest defenders were. 17 When the men of the city came out and fought against Joab, some of the men in David’s army fell; moreover, Uriah the Hittite died. Go down to verse 26…

26 When Uriah’s wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him. 27 After the time of mourning was over, David had her brought to his house, and she became his wife and bore him a son. But the thing David had done displeased the LORD. Chapter 12, verse 1…

12 The LORD sent Nathan to David. When he came to him, he said, “There were two men in a certain town, one rich and the other poor. 2 The rich man had a very large number of sheep and cattle, 3 but the poor man had nothing except one little ewe lamb he had bought. He raised it, and it grew up with him and his children. It shared his food, drank from his cup and even slept in his arms. It was like a daughter to him.

4 “Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.”

5 David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the LORD lives, the man who did this must die! 6 He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.”

7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul. 8 I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more. 9 Why did you despise the word of the LORD by doing what is evil in his eyes? You struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and took his wife to be your own. You killed him with the sword of the Ammonites. 10 Now, therefore, the sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.’

11 “This is what the LORD says: ‘Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity on you. Before your very eyes I will take your wives and give them to one who is close to you, and he will sleep with your wives in broad daylight. 12 You did it in secret, but I will do this thing in broad daylight before all Israel.’”

13 Then David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.”

Nathan replied, “The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die.” This is the Word of the Lord.

Aren’t you glad you came to church today?

Today’s message is about sin. Specifically, sexual sin. This is story about adultery, which is a sexual relationship between two people where at least one of them is married to someone else.

Some of you are involved in adultery. Maybe it’s the beginning stages—it’s not physical at this point. But it’s a strong emotional attachment, and given more time, and the right circumstances, it could easily become an affair. And God has brought you here this morning for a reason.

For some of you, it may already be full-blown adultery. You never thought it would happen to you, but it did, and you’re living a double life. And God has brought you here this morning for a reason.

For some of you, you’ve been using God’s good gift of sex foolishly. Because you’re sleeping with someone you’re not married to. And even though every voice in our culture says, “Of course that’s fine,” God says, “I have something better for you.” And he’s brought you here this morning for a reason.

And for others, you’re deep into another kind of sexual sin called porn. It has a lot of the same addictive qualities as an affair. And you’re not proud of it, but you can’t seem to stop. And God has brought you here this morning for a reason.

See, all sin is destructive. But sexual sin does a special kind of damage. In the Bible, sexual sin is the tool that Satan uses to drag down leaders, time after time (just like he does today). In the New Testament, any time we find lists of sins to avoid, the sins that appear at the top of those lists and most frequently on those lists are sexual sins. Like Paul says in 1 Corinthians 6, every other sin we commit is outside our body, but when we commit sexual sin we’re sinning against our own body.

So today we’re going to talk about sexual sin. I’m guessing that some of you are feeling pretty safe right now. When I just gave those examples, you’re thinking, “Nope, nope, nope. I’m good here. I’m so glad Pastor Dave is dealing with these other messed up people!” If that’s what you’re thinking, remember what Jesus said: if you even look at another person lustfully, you’ve already committed adultery with them in your heart. This message applies to every one of us.

Here’s the big question I want to ask: How can I avoid the devastation of sexual sin? How can I avoid the devastation of sexual sin?

So first, let’s talk about Encountering Sexual Sin. As the story progresses, we see the sin unfold in three stages—and it’s the same three stages that we face. So let’s talk first about what to do…

When you’re tempted by it. From the very start, you can see that something is off. Normally, when Israel’s troops went out to battle, David would go with them. He led by example. But this time, the troops go out, and what does David do? He stays back at the palace. And then it says, One evening David got up from his bed. When you’re getting out of bed in the evening, that’s probably not a good sign. I believe that David has been softened by success. He’s starting to coast. He’s content to let other people do the hard stuff.

So during his evening rooftop stroll, something catches his eye. He sees a woman down below, probably on the rooftop of another building, bathing. He doesn’t know who she is, but she is beautiful. So David sends one of his men to find out about her, and the report comes back: she’s a married woman. Her husband, Uriah, is actually one of David’s loyal fighting men. And as soon as he learns who she is, that’s the moment where David had a decision to make.

I believe that for every temptation, there’s a critical moment where you decide whether you’ll move closer to it, or move on. Do you find reasons to walk by the office of that woman at work, or do you keep to your side of the floor? Do you rationalize sex with your boyfriend because he’ll probably propose some day, or do you maintain your standards? Do you click on that provocative web site, or do you close your laptop? There’s always that moment of decision, right?

1 Corinthians 10:13 says No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. Listen: there’s always a way out. God never puts you in a situation where you can say, “I had no choice. I had to sin.” Can you imagine how history would have been different if David heard she was married, and he just turned around and went back inside, and forgot about her? We’re going to see that David’s life is about to get brutally painful from this time on—can you imagine how much pain he would have spared himself, if he had made a different choice that night?

Look: whatever temptation is in front of you right now, here’s what you need to do: Turn away from the sin, toward God. Choose to make that decision. Even if you feel powerless to resist, you have enough power to turn away from the sin. And I have found that when I do that—when I make that simple choice—God honors that decision by pouring on more power, so I can keep walking strongly.

So, when you’re tempted by sexual sin, turn away from the sin, toward God. Unfortunately, David chooses not to do that, which opens up the next stage…

When you’ve fallen into it… David crosses a line that he never should have crossed. Instead of moving on, he sends for Bathsheba and he has his way with her. He takes the power that’s been entrusted to him by the people and by God, and he uses it selfishly. And we get this very harsh reminder—this very

graphic reminder—that the great King David had the same sinful nature that you and I have. If it could happen to David, it could happen to anyone, right?

I’m sure David is hoping this will all remain secret. But a short while later, someone passes him a note from Bathsheba: “I’m pregnant.” And he realizes he’s gotten himself in deeper than he intended. He moves quickly to cover it up. He invites her husband, Uriah, home from battle, and he tells him to go home to his wife. Simple strategy: Uriah will sleep with his wife; everyone will assume the baby is Uriah’s. Problem solved! But it doesn’t work, because Uriah is such a man of honor, he refuses to go sleep his wife when his fellow soldiers are on the battlefield.

So David thinks up plan B—he convinces Uriah to stay one more night. This time he invites Uriah to dinner, and he gets him drunk. And he sends him home again. But even drunk, Uriah refuses to go home and sleep with his wife, out of respect for the men on the battlefield. Amazing show of character! One commentator said, “Uriah drunk is more godly than David sober.” Ouch.

So finally, David comes up with plan C—and this one is pure evil. He writes a letter to Joab, the military commander. He instructs Joab to put Uriah in the most dangerous position on the battlefield, so he’ll get killed. And it works. The husband of David’s one-night fling is now dead. Besides being an adulterer, David is now a murderer.

You know what happens when you step into sin—especially sexual sin? You have to lie to cover it up. And then you realize you have to lie to cover up your lies. And sometimes those lies lead to more sin and more people getting hurt. Not only that, but you have to lie to yourself, to convince yourself that you’re justified in doing what you’re doing. What a miserable way to live.

So after Bathsheba grieves the loss of her husband, David takes her to be his wife, and she gives birth to a son. To anyone watching from the outside, it looks like David is heroically rescuing the poor war widow. What a kind and compassionate king! But God knows better. And chapter eleven ends with these ominous words: But the thing David had done displeased the Lord.

There are so many points in this story where David could have decided to stop and come clean…but he doesn’t. He keeps digging himself deeper and deeper. Don’t do that. If you’ve fallen into sexual sin, in any form—whether you’re having an affair, or you’re just dabbling in porn—you can’t undo the past. But you can radically affect the future. Your future. So if you’ve fallen into sexual sin, here’s what you need to do: Turn away from the sin, toward God. You will find mercy and healing, and it will be a tremendous relief.

Unfortunately, David chooses not to do that, which opens up the third stage..

When you’re confronted about it… So God sends his prophet, Nathan, to confront David. Remember, David and Nathan are tight—lots of good history, lots of respect between them. And Nathan knows that if he confronts David directly, it might not go well. So he sets a trap: he tells the story about two men living in the same town: a poor man with one little lamb that drinks from his cup and sleeps in his arms. And a rich man with tons of sheep. So when the rich guy gets a visitor, instead of taking one of his own sheep to make dinner for the visitor, he takes the poor guy’s one lamb. So David hears the story, and he’s furious. See, David has a strong sense of justice, for other people. David says, “The man who did that should die!” He’s fallen right into the trap. He’s pronounced his own guilt. And then Nathan says those famous words, “You are the man!”

So David finds himself in the very uncomfortable position of being confronted with his sin, and he has to decide what to do about it. Can you relate to being in that position?

Sometimes, God uses a good friend to confront you with your sin. Or your spouse. Someone who’s close enough to you to see some dark area in your life, and they care enough to point it out to you. Sometimes, it’s not another person; it’s God Himself. You hear a sermon, and something in that sermon grabs you, and you say, “That’s me!” And the Holy Spirit convicts you, and you’re confronted with your sin. How do you respond to that?

You know what the most common responses are? Pride and fear. Pride and fear. Pride says, “I’m not that bad. If my wife really understood the pressure I’m under, she would’ve never said that to me.” So you either throw it right back at her: “Oh yeah? Well, let’s talk about your issues for a minute!” Or, you shut down and give her the silent treatment. You make her pay for insulting your pride.

Or, you respond with fear. Fear says, “Man, I am so guilty of this. The pastor was talking about adultery, and he was talking about me. And I’ve been able to hide it from my husband, but God knows it. And I know what I need to do. But I’m afraid. I’m afraid I’ll lose my family. I’m afraid my kids will hate me. I’m afraid God will never forgive me.” And the fear paralyzes you. So you do nothing.

Pride and fear.

And here’s the thing: when you’re confronted with your sin, and you respond with pride or fear, you start to shrivel. Spiritually—as a person—you start to shrivel up. Your growth is stunted. You cut yourself off from God’s power. And you spiral downward. Some of you are on that downward spiral right now.

But it’s not too late. It’s never too late! If you’re being confronted about your sin—either by a person, or even by today’s message, here’s what you do (you know what I’m going to say, right?): Turn away from the sin, toward God. Recognize that whoever confronted you was God’s messenger—they were Nathan to you! And then turn away from the sin, toward God.

Thankfully, finally, that’s exactly what David does. And when you do that, it opens up the door for the much better future that God has for you. And that leads us to the second and final point…

Overcoming Sexual Sin. Hopefully you noticed a pattern under that first point. It was pretty obvious, right? No matter what stage of sexual sin you’re encountering—whether you’re being tempted by it, which is pretty much every day; or if you’ve already fallen into it, or if you’re being confronted for it, the wise response is always the same, Right? Turn away from the sin, toward God.

The Bible has a word for that. You know what it is? Repentance. Repentance. The Hebrew word for “repent” is shuv, which literally means “to turn.” You’re heading in one direction, and you choose to turn the other way: away from the sin, toward God. So David does that—look at 2 Samuel 12—the first half of verse 13: Then David said to Nathan, "I have sinned against the Lord." Now: maybe you’re thinking, “Well, of course he admits it. He’s been caught! He has no choice but to admit it!” But that’s not true. Think about it: What would most kings do at this point? Nathan would be dead—just like that. Kings had absolute authority. So this confession by David is genuine.

But it’s also very short. To see if this is real repentance, it would be helpful to know what’s going on in David’s heart, wouldn’t it? And that’s exactly what we find in Psalm 51. David wrote Psalm 51 right after this incident, and look what he says—this is the first four verses—just listen to David’s heart.

1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.

2 Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. 4 Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.

What do you hear in those words? I hear a man who’s seems to have it all together on the outside, but he’s come face to face with his own darkness. “My sin is always before me.” He’s no longer in denial; he’s no longer posturing. He’s finally looking at himself squarely in the mirror, and he doesn’t like what he sees. He doesn’t make excuses. He doesn’t point fingers at other people. He owns it. That’s repentance.

Look, if God has shown you sexual sin in your life, it’s time to turn. Repent. If you’re having an affair, end it with that other person, come clean with your spouse, and trust God to rebuild a different kind of marriage. If you’re sleeping with your boyfriend or girlfriend, have the courage and the faith in God to put a stop to it. I’m not judging you; I’m just telling you God’s better way. If you’re using porn, don’t call it a bad habit. Don’t call it harmless. It’s not harmless! It exploits God’s children; that’s somebody’s daughter you’re looking at! It’s evil. Let it break your heart! And turn from it.

Those are hard decisions to make! I’m not saying this is easy. But when you have the courage and the faith to repent, there are really good things on the other side of that. Let me mention two.

First, you will experience Forgiveness. The second half of 2 Samuel 12:13…after David confessed, Nathan replied, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die.” David’s repentance is genuine, and God’s forgiveness is immediate. No hesitation; no rubbing it in; just forgiveness!

Look again at what David wrote about this in Psalm 51.

1 Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.

This is so theologically important. “Have mercy on me according to your unfailing love.” That term “unfailing love” is translating the Hebrew word hesed, which means “covenant loyalty.” In other words, “Lord, I’m not asking you to forgive me because I’m such a godly person, or because you’re so impressed I killed Goliath. In fact, when I look at my own heart right now, all I see is guilt. The only thing I’m holding onto is your hesed—your covenant loyalty. That’s my only hope.”

You know where we find the ultimate hesed of God? The ultimate covenant loyalty? At the cross. Let me make this really clear: at the cross, Jesus paid for all your sexual sin. Every single shameful thing you’ve done or even thought, Jesus shed his blood to atone for that. So David says, “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your hesed,” and we can pray, “Have mercy on me, O God, according to the cross.” Just trust in the blood of Christ, and you will be forgiven—washed clean—declared righteous in the sight of God.

There was a famous British novelist and journalist named Marghanita Laski; she was also an outspoken atheist. Shortly before her death she was being interviewed on TV, and she said this very

vulnerable thing: “What I envy about you Christians is your forgiveness; I have nobody to forgive me.” Isn’t that profoundly sad? See, we all know we desperately need forgiveness—specifically sexual forgiveness. Praise God we have someone to forgive us, because of the cross.

And then finally, when you repent, you will open the door for Joy. Later in that same Psalm, listen to what David wrote—this is the same David who just came clean about his sin…Psalm 51:8 says Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. And then verse 12 says: Restore to me the joy of your salvation. It’s hard to believe when you’re in the shame of being confronted with your sin, but repentance doesn’t just take away the shame; it actually brings joy. It brings hope. It pulls you out of the darkness and gives light to your future.

There’s a pastor that I admire named Randy Frazee. A few years ago, he was in the office of a friend. And he saw a picture of this man with his wife hanging on the wall, and he said, “That’s a nice picture.” His friend got really quiet, and he said, “I’m going to tell you something very personal. Years ago, I was unfaithful to my wife, and she found out about it. And she was so hurt that she was going to leave me and take the kids with her. And I was so crushed by the mistake I had made, I shut down the affair. I went to my wife in total brokenness. I knew I didn’t deserve anything, but I asked her to forgive me. And it wasn’t easy, at all…but she did.”

And he said, “That picture was taken shortly after that. So when you see that picture you say, ‘Nice picture.’ When I see that picture I see my life given back to me again.”

David stood before Nathan the prophet, and he heard those words: The Lord has taken away your sin. And his life was given back to him again. There would still be some fallout from his sin. Sin always brings consequences. But his joy was restored.

Listen: God has brought you here today for a reason. If sexual sin has been haunting your conscience and stealing your joy, it’s time to repent. Turn away from the sin, toward God. And God will restore your joy.